INSIGHTS BY JUDY!

Insights By Judy - Chapter 1 - Maxine

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Boundaries.... Posted: 03 May 2016 02:50 PM PDT Like many people, I have problems honoring my own boundaries. In short, it is difficult for me to say 'No!' and stick with it. 'No' is really a good word. I'm not so sure why I find it difficult to use. But using it can keep you healthier. How did this come up? I was volunteered for a leadership role I did not want. I didn't say 'No' because I didn't want to hurt the young woman who volunteered me. But I didn't fulfill on this leadership role. Because I didn't want to. And I had things to do that were more important to me. Which made this person remove me from the leadership role. It caused hard feelings because I was honest about the fact that I didn't want to do it in the first place. I think this person was somehow convinced that I was upset about being removed. That was almost funny.  I was upset because I wasn't even asked before this person added me in the first place.  So, what did I learn? I am responsible for setting my own boundaries.  I don't have to do things I don't want to or have no time for.  It isn't 'nice' for me to take care of the feelings of other people at the expense of my own needs and desires.  If my answer is 'No', I need to say it. And if someone attempts to ignore my boundaries, it is OK to detach from that relationship. It is said that issues come back into your life over and over until you've dealt with it. I'm taking the opportunity to practice boundary setting. For the friend that chose to 'honor' me with a job I didn't want...if you ever add me to anything without discussing it with me first...I will leave. I'm in charge of what I want to take on. Not you. IF you choose to maintain a connection with me, you will need to do your own work on respecting boundaries. For my readers, can you relate? Do you know how to respect your own boundaries?  Do you understand the need to respect the boundaries of other people?  Let's talk!  Sending love......