Monday, May 23, 2016


Hello all, I know I will offend some authors, editors, event planners, proofreaders, cover designers, beta's and readers. So if you are easily offended leave! 

Writers today want a quick rise to the top! An award, acknowledgement in a magazine, becoming a best seller within days of releasing their books. Don't get me wrong I thought the same thing when I published my books. Each and every one of them should have been a best seller. WRONG. 

Authors, you need to pay attention! Not only will you probably never be a best seller, you will always have something wrong with your book. People are mean spirited and down right nasty when it comes to reading and reviewing books. Nothing is ever good enough for them. 

NEVER EVER GIVE AWAY A BOOK! It is a waste of money. Let only three people have an advanced reader copy (ARC) of your book to beta read. Do not ever give them a fully edited, perfect copy of your book. Free days will come later on after you have sold over 200 books and Have over 25 reviews. See Amazon and Kindle Direct for more information. 

Okay, now on to editing. NEVER EVER, rely on just one editor, proofreader or beta, unless you know them really well. I mean personally. Most small time publishing businesses do not pay their editors well. Which in many cases result in poor editing. Sorry folks it is just the facts. I know it is expensive. But in the long run, you will thank me because your book will be the best it can be and you will sell like hotcakes. If you need guidance, email me I have some wonderful proofreaders, editors, etc. 

Picking a cover for your book is a joke, you will never be totally content with your cover, oh sure at first sight you are like; OMG I love it! But do you really?? Is the font what you wanted? Is he or she the heroin you wanted? Does the background look like you had envisioned? Chances are NO! Cover designers have their own views of what may or may not be good for your book. Well screw that! Have they even read your book? Chances are NO! So always remember: 1.) Make the cover artist read your book, then they will have an idea of what you want. 2.) Find a reputable cover designer, not your sister, brother, close friend or whatever....Do your homework. Look at their work on other books. Talk to them personally on the phone. 
Make sure they see your vision. 

Most people make a cover before they are even finished with their book. DO NOT DO THAT! HANDS OFF! Wait! I know it is hard! But do not make a cover before you have the full scope of your book done, on paper and ready to upload to Createspace or Smashwords, whatever you use. 

If you are a financially poor author and think that you will make money in the first month of your books release. Think again! Most authors make money right out of the shoot. However, from experience it takes a year of promoting to even get to half of what you thought you would be making and that is with a really good promoter and personal assistant. 

Therein lies another issue see what my opinion is below. 

Personal assistants want to make a quick buck. Oh sure they are your friend and have all good intentions. In a lot of cases, they are strong and steady for a while, then they seem to slough off and you are left with doing it all yourself anyway. 

Street teams are great! See I am not a total Negative Nelly. Even when you only have a few left, there is always some that are with your forever and will do anything to help your get the word out about your books. These are super fans/stalkers so to speak. They are worthy of small gifts or swag to say thank you for hanging in there with me for the long haul. 

Big ticket items to get your fans to buy your books. NO JUST NO! Okay, so you go out and buy this really great new Kindle, Then you think, I am gonna throw in a $25.00 Amazon gift card. Then I am gonna have this big event lasting a whole month. BULLCRAP! Not only are you wasting your money but you are wasting your time! Take over authors are angels, they really are. Most of them show up and have great information, play games and entertain the few that decide to show up. Readers and guests of the events seem to straggle in one by one then your are left saying; "Hey where is everybody?" Yeah well, they have lives too and these long events unless are for a charitable cause are a waste of time and money. People only want the prizes, they don't give two shits if you are desperate for readers or not. 

Blog tours: Ugh, been there done that. All done with the best of intentions. Again waste of time. Do people really read those? I don't know? as a book promoter, I do blog tours, I love creating them and seeing the finished product on my blog. But sometimes I feel I have wasted precious time. Because face it folks, look at your visitor count. If you are not a bestselling author or an award winner. Nobody really reads your blogs. Oh sure some bloggers are dedicated. Some aren't. Meh, it's up to you. 

Authors are a rare breed of jerkbrains. Me included. We are perfectionists. We want it our way or the highway. We tend to seek out other jerkbrains to join us in our book crusade. I love you jerks. I really do! 

Being too nice! Yeah, don't do that unless you want to get reemed in the pooper by a broom toting witch. There is always the "good friend on Facebook or Twitter who you trust with your life. Only to turn around and she or he has talked about you like your a piece of dirt. Publishers, Editors, Proofers included!! You know who you are braindeads! 

Book promoters. We are generally helpful, loving individuals who have been dealt a dirty hand when it came to promoting our books and want to make it right with mankind to help you learn and be the best author you can be. Promoters, they get you out there and seen. They try their darnedest to promote the hell out of you and your books. But then there are the few who are so nit picky, little pissers and then you wonder if it is all worth it. Not with standing the temper tantrums every time you get a message or a email from them asking you to change something every damn day of your life. 

I am a book promoter, my partner is a book promoter, we are both authors and bloggers. We give our blood, sweat and tears to our authors. We kiss their butts kindly, because we care!!! So treat us with respect and let us have our weekends to ourselves. After all we work hard for you and your books. 

Last but not least! Remember you are one in 500 million authors in this world. You are special but you ain't a Goddess or a God! I know you don't want to be a big timer, you just want to make a few bucks and supplement your household budgets. Yeah me too! But hey, remember you are only human, your books are good. There is not EVER a bad book. Really! All stories big or small, poetry or just ramblings are good! Grammar, editing and missing story lines are BAD! 

Always remember to cater to your reader. Let them see inside your head. Do not tell the reader your story. Show them, the minute details you may think are stupid, like explanations of clothing or buildings are not stupid. They are what keep us coming back for more. Cliffhangers are good, crying and death are good. Weddings and babies are good. Long hair is good. Short hair is good. Give us color and images. You are an author, an Author! Tell it, show it, make it happen!

I am Crystal Miles Gauthier and this is my point of view, not yours! So quit your barkin and just take it with a grain of salt and then forget you ever read it. 

Thank you! 

No comments:

Post a Comment